Heading for the ulcer I probably have coming to me...

So I am currently sitting in the Denver airport, on route to DC. I have been on the ground for about 45 minutes and I have already had the urge to choke no less than 3 people. To start things off I stood up on the pack of gum CRJ that we flew in on and the little 4 year old behind me started poking my butt. Not even kidding, she was like typing on my ass. I didn't know what to do, I mean how likely is it that the small child behind you will start touching your butt. Probably the same probability of her whacking you in the head while she was swinging down the aisle like a monkey. Which by the way, she also did. I wanted to turn around and tell her how rude it is to touch other people, let alone on the ass, but I figured her mother would probably just lecture me on how rude it is to lecture a child. So I refrained and got off the plane before my reflexive right hand turned around and smacked the living crap out of her.

The second person on my choke list. The less than pleasant UPS woman. How damn hard is it to tell UPS, don't deliver my damn package. I won't be there. Hold it at your center, I'll pick it up when I return. I called UPS last week and they told me that I had to wait until it got delivered in Ogden before I tried to hold it. So, lo and behold it got delivered in Ogden this morning and I called them back but apparently I can't hold it at the center until the guy tries to deliver it. Then as soon as he tries to deliver it, I can call back and tell them to hold it. Umm, hello, I'm not there to know when he tries to deliver it, if I was we wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place. Why can't I just hold it now? Well, you can't that's what our policy says. It was at this point that I informed the woman that her policy was retarded and I work for the government, I know retarded policy. She then asked if I had a leasing office that could sign. I do, but I am as about as trusting of my leasing office as I am of a hardened criminal. So I told her, you know what...fine leave it at the leasing office. Then I hurried up to call the leasing office and verify that they could do that. And thank goodness, they can. Now I normally wouldn't be fussing this much over a package, but it's the bridesmaid dress for my friend Kelly's wedding. If I screw this up, I'm in deep trouble!

Person 3 the lady at Central Violations Bureau. Enough said. That's another post for a later date and I'm hungry because I haven't had breakfast and when I get hungry, I get cranky. So I'm going to find some food, then get on this plane and pass the hell out, whether I want to or not, thanks to genetics.

That is all!