So orthopedic doctors have the biggest racket going on. I sat around for 1.5 hours in an office to meet with a doctor for 5 minutes, only to have him tell me that my elbow is stable and PT isn't needed. I could have told him that...and I didn't pay all that money to go to med school. Oh yeah and he also told me, that feeling you have in your arm when you straighten it...the one where you feel like your bicep is being pulled out at its very root...yeah that's normal...just ignore it. So now instead of having someone with a physical therapy degree inflict pain on me, I get to inflict it on myself. Awesome. I am hoping to go to the driving range, if not this Friday, definitely next Friday...we'll see how that goes.

Otherwise work has been slow...but since I have been gone for what feels like a year, that's probably a good thing.

Back to the grind...ugh.

That is all!

Cause we don't like them there homo-sexuals (average Utant sentiment)

http://www.abc4.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=a0e1ee7a-c8b4-4bdc-a70c-7366a1a1f226

My favorite section of the story...

"Brandon, who wants to be a professional baseball player someday, loves dance because he says it's the best way to express his feelings. He did however have to convince his parents of this passion four years ago. “Actually more my dad. My dad was kind of like I'm not too sure about you dancing, but then once I told him I'd be dancing with a girl then he was ok with it,” he states."

Note to that kid's father, your son is probably gay...or you have let him spend too much time with his mother...no straight 13 year old boy wants to think about feelings.

In other news, I am sitting in the Cincinnati airport, bored out of my skull. I just walked off the 100th plane since August 2006. That's right in a little over a year and a half I have ridden on 100 planes. I'm not sure that it's that big of an achievement...but I have traveled more in the past year and a half than I did in my entire life.

Mom is doing well. I was home for about a week and a half helping out, so that was good. She's still pretty tired and her back bothers her...but all things considered she is doing remarkably well. Hopefully we won't have to worry about heart stuff for awhile now.

Now it's back to the grind at 6:30am tomorrow morning. It's going to be a long one.

That is all!

Open Heart Day 8

We got home at 7:15 this evening. This morning we were not even sure she would be released. And let me tell you when they released her, we were out of there so fast, that they didn't even have time to change their minds. When we found out that she was going to be released, I'm sure the guesthouse thought we were robbing someone's room. There was stuff flying into suitcases and drawers being slammed. And we had that car packed up in record time. So then we headed back to the hospital, got Mom and headed for Rite Aid to fill her prescription. She's on Percocet, which is a narcotic, so the prescription could not be filled across state lines. Which means that when she got the prescription in Cleveland, we could not fill it in NY. So we just figured we would run into Rite Aid, and get it taken care of. Well Dad came back out all in a huff because the pharmacist would not fill the Percocet because some old senile cardiologist had written 15, instead of fifteen. So she told us to get a new prescription and then they would fill it. Well we were all pretty annoyed, but then we remembered that there was a pharmacy in the hospital. So we left the one prescription (the one they would fill) at Rite Aid and Dad drove me over to the hospital to try the pharmacy there with the Percocet prescription. I walked in and handed it to the guy and he asked where my mom was (cause it's for her) I told him she was in the car, just got discharged and we were trying to leave. He then gave me some attitude about having all of her information, so I could fill out this stupid card. I just stared at him. And then I said very carefully so as not to lose my temper, "You're telling me that I just ran .25 miles over here, you want me to run back, get her information and then run back here, before you will even attempt to fill this." "Yeah, that's it." Then I said, "Give me the card, can I fill it out for her?" Well this seemed to be ok, so I started filling out the card, which was all things like address, birthday, do you need counseling with this prescription. Finally, he seemed satisfied enough and then told me it would be a half an hour. Are you kidding me??? You are throwing 15 Percocet in a bottle. A half an hour?! So I ran back to the parents, told them and they headed back to Rite Aid to pick up the other prescription and I went back to the hospital pharmacy. When Dad got back over to Rite Aid, they asked where the Percocet prescription was, he told them he took his business elsewhere, but that he was there to pick up the other prescription. The pharmacist then informed him that it was going to be 2 hours. I think he almost blew up at them. He then informed them that he had an open heart surgery patient in the car, ready to leave and he didn't have 2 hours. They were nicer after that and filled the prescription rather quickly. They came back, picked me up and we were on our way.

We didn't want to start calling everyone, because we weren't sure it was going happen and that once we got on the road, we weren't sure we would make it all the way home tonight.

My mom is very tired and needs to rest a lot for the next couple of days. This is not to be mean or discourage anyone from visiting...but please call my cell (315)263-6264 before you would like to visit. Also, don't be offended if I tell you not to show up. She'll be around for awhile, you'll all have your chance to visit.

Thank you

The Management

Open Heart Day 7

So she is getting up and moving more without the oxygen. But she is still short of breath after she walks. She has a lot of fluid retention, and I don't think she'll get to go anywhere until that subsides. Still no word on when we are going to get released.

Open Heart Day 6

So they took her for an echo this afternoon...very routine. However, she waited downstairs in a freaking wheelchair for almost 2 hours until they could get her in. As a result she is way tired and her feet are really swollen because she couldn't elevate them or get up and walk around. Her nurse seemed really annoyed that they would do that to one of his patients...so we'll see what happens.

Open Heart Day 6

The pacer wires came out this morning and she is trying to ween off the oxygen. Still no official word on when she will be released.

Open Heart Day 5

So my entries are becoming pretty stagnant. Mom still looks tired but she is doing a little better than yesterday. Still no word on when we get to go home. I feel like I have been here 10 million years already.

Evening Update

I spent most of the day with Mom and she's doing ok. Her heart is slightly arrhythmic but this is to be expected. She's very tired still, but she hasn't slept much today and she has had a lot of excitement. My uncle and my grandfather are here now. She is up and walking around a little bit but is getting winded easily. I think we are all going to call it an early night.

Open heart update Day 4

So I went to class today. I kid you not I had to go to class this morning. This morning's lecture was on incision care and how to take care of the patient. Dad and I took some notes and then it was back upstairs to see Mom. She had a pretty busy filled morning...they had her up and walking around, they took her downstairs for a CAT scan and of course she had lots of visitors. She looked pretty wiped out when lunch time rolled along. However, we made her eat at least a little bit of her food and she perked up and looked much better. Then she got a 15 minute powernap before another nurse came in to give her some more medicine. She said she hasn't been in pain, but she is taking pain medicine every 4 hours to keep ahead of it.

I found out that I have wireless access in her room. So me, my computer and 2 venti vanilla lattes are hunkered down. All is well.

Evening Update Day 3

So around 12:30 today we received a phone call from my mom's ICU nurse that she was being moved up to the regular floor. My dad and I headed over to see where she was before the relatives arrived.

Around 1:30 all the cousins and aunts and my sister Katherine (she made me write that) showed up. We unloaded their stuff and then headed to the hospital. We had figured that we would do shifts of 2-3 people at a time and the rest of us would sit in the lounge. As my dad, my Aunt Kathie, my cousin Mandi and I were sitting in the lounge we heard a siren going off. It sounded like it was in the other hall so we weren't worried. Then there was an announcement on the loudspeaker, "Code blue, G 101 Bed 13." I looked at Dad and I said, "That's Mom's bed." We jumped up and started running down the hall when this nurse "Heismaned" us and told us it wasn't a patient, it was a family member. So we started to walk away and then it dawned on us that it was our family member. My aunt, who was hospitalized 2 days ago (totally different story), wanted to go check it out. And I was all...umm let's send the guy that didn't get hospitalized. So my dad went to check it out and we realized it was my cousin. She had totally hit the deck. Meanwhile her story was that she had turned to my aunt and said, "I feel dizzy, I think I'm going down." My aunt quickly yelled for my sis and the two of them caught my cousin. They lowered her to the ground and then the white coats started running. It was at this time they called for the Code Blue because they couldn't find a pulse on her. Then and here's the ironic part, one of the doctors asked her if she had a family history of heart problems. WE ARE VISITING SOMEONE ON THE CARDIOTHORAIC WARD. Yes, I think there's a history of heart problems. So, my aunt comes out and collects me, because they need an escort, and I spent 2 hours in the ER, for the 2nd time in 8 days. For the record, once we spring my mom from this joint I don't want to step foot in a hospital for a very very long time. It turns out that my cousin was fine, they think it was just a reaction to not eating and being too warm.

The rest of the night was pretty low key but my mom looked so tired. But it's to be expected, she had a lot of activity today, more than she has had in the past few days.

Open heart Day 3

So I didn't post an update last night because I got kidnapped. My friend Carolynn made me go out and get away from the hospital. And I'll admit I was completely exhausted, but I had fun. My dad went to see my mom and he said she looked better.

We went in this morning and she ate some bran flakes. Her blood pressure was a little bit higher, her pulse was steady and she said the only thing she was on for pain was percocet.

They had her sitting in a chair and she said that she wasn't in pain and the only complaint she had was that she was a little weaker than she would have liked.

The nurse told us that she has put in for a bed for her on the regular floor. So we are hoping by tonight to have her out of ICU.

She's looking much better!

Afternoon Update!

So we went in around 2 this afternoon and Mom looked so much better. They had removed the chest tubes and the heart tubes, which were major annoyances to her. So that made her feel better. She still has her IVs but that's pretty standard. Her pulse was holding steady at around 70. Which was much better than the fluctuation she was having earlier in the day. They have her on some pain medicine, so she isn't in too much pain. She's eating ice chips and not experiencing any more nausea...so that's all very positive. Her blood pressure was sort of low, but they are weening her off the bp medication, so that's to be expected. If she keeps making this kind of progress, she'll probably be able to leave ICU in the morning. So far, so good!!

Open heart day 2

So this morning I drug my sorry butt out of bed at 6:15...trust me I feel like I could have slept all day. Dad and I went and got breakfast and around 8 we went in to see Mom. When we got there we were informed they want to keep her in ICU another night. We were told it was because her blood pressure is still too low. However, it is significantly higher than it was yesterday. As Dad and I were standing there though, we were watching her heart rate (which she can't see) we noticed that her readings were like 55,55,55,55,48,43,55,55,45. So I think they want to monitor the heart rate for another day. What they don't understand is that low readings like that were completely normal for her pre-surgery. So we aren't terribly worried and another day of constant monitoring might not be such a bad thing.

She was definitely awake this morning and not falling asleep on us at all. She said she didn't sleep much last night, more just dozing. She keeps complaining about the drainage tube in her chest, but they can't take that out until she leaves ICU (so this is all very normal). Her respiratory therapist was in this morning and checked her lung function. (For those who don't understand why they are so worried about lung function: when they put her under and started this process she went on a heart and lung machine that did her breathing and beating for her, this means that her lungs were completely deflated during surgery. They want to make sure that her lungs are now completely reinflated and that there is no fluid in there). Her therapist had her breathing in a tube with a little ball, while she was listening to her lungs and she said that everything looks exceptionally good. So that's a relief.

We left around 9:30 and we are going back in again this afternoon.

Open heart updates (sorry if this is scattered and brief...I'll add color commentary later, I just don't want people wondering or getting antsy...feel free to pass around...if you have any questions, post 'em and I'll try to answer them)

So, my mom went in this morning for open heart surgery. She had to have her valved "tweaked", her aneurysm grafted and the hole in her heart repaired. We had to be at Cleveland Clinic at 5:15 this morning. We left her at 8am and the desk attendant told us that she would be in prep for at least 2 hours. They gave us a pager and told us that we would get a page when she went on "bypass", which basically means life support but they don't want to scare you. Well we got that text at 10:24. Then we were put in this ICU class and told what to expect when we got to see Mom in ICU. At 11:24 the surgeon called Dad out of the class and said that surgery had gone well, but that the hole in the heart was pretty sizeable, but fixed. This led us to believe that it was larger than he had originally anticipated. We were told that we couldn't see her for 3-4 hours. In hindsight, the whole surgery anxiety was much less than I had anticipated. I feel this was due to the excellent information we got from the staff here at the clinic. They kept us well informed of what to expect and they made sure we didn't have a whole ton of time once we knew she was in surgery to sit around and wait for news.

So since we had 3-4 hours to kill we had lunch with Carolynn at possibly the most skankiest restaurant I have ever been to in my life. It was a Pizza Hut, but I'm pretty sure it was a front for a drug ring. Oh yeah and it was in the ghetto. Oh yeah and we were the only crackers around. Our check arrived before our food and we had no napkins or silverware...we barely got plates. All I could think was that all my immunizations including my hepatitis were up to date...so I should be ok. It added to the whole experience.

At 3:30ish we arrived at ICU. I'm not going to lie, walking over to ICU was one of the most nerve wracking things I have done in my life. I kept trying to breathe deep but I was in a full body cold sweat. I knew mostly what I would see, but I wasn't sure I was ready to see it. When we arrived she wasn't quite ready to be seen yet, so we had to wait. While we were waiting there was this woman who was waiting wearing a shirt that said, "All stressed out and no one to choke." As we were talking to her we realized she is going on week 14 in ICU. Week 14? In ICU?! I couldn't imagine how difficult that would be. And we thought we had it bad! Around 4 we finally got to see her and she looked as good as one could in ICU. She still had the ventilator in and in true "her" fashion she tried to lift her hand to remove it while we were there. The nurse said that she was doing well and that she should have the ventilator out by this evening and that she should be moved out of ICU by tomorrow morning if things continue the way they are. The only thing they are really concerned about right now is that her blood pressure is running on the low side, which is normal for her (but not what they want to see.) After 20 minutes we were kicked out of ICU. When I say kicked out, I mean the head nurse came around and said, "How long have you been here? Too long. Out." I guess they try to keep the first visit short because the patient needs rest and they still have a lot of stuff to do.

We had a couple more hours to kill, so we came back to the hotel. Dad crashed and I caught up on some emails and phone calls. Then it was dinner time and back to ICU.

This time the ventilator was out...which was definitely a good thing. Mom was talking but she sounds pretty hoarse. She was complaining of pain from the tubes in her...but this is all very normal. She finally got to eat some ice chips, but then was nauseous, so I guess they try again later. They are still monitoring her blood pressure which continues to be low. The nurse that is staying with her tonight said that if she gets the blood pressure up, she leaves ICU tomorrow earlier in the day. If she doesn't get the blood pressure up, she'll have to stay there for awhile longer. She seemed very tired, which is to be expected so we left early.

I plan on continuing to update this post, hopefully twice a day...but we'll see how that goes. The only place that I can get internet is the lobby of the hotel...so updates maybe less frequent than I would like. But for now, I'm going to go upstairs and crash.

A Broken Girl in Utah

In order to fully explain the story behind this post, I need to talk about something I never talk about. Relationships. I have had some good ones in the past year and a half and I’ve had my share of horrible ones…including bad first dates. And I never once posted about any of these occurrences. Partly to protect the parties involved, but mostly because I didn’t want to explain to everyone why I was single, or what happened to that guy that I mentioned. I just didn’t need that. However, in order to explain the title of this post, I’m going to have to break that rule. I don’t even want to use the guy’s name (mostly because he doesn't even know he is the subject of this post)…but I need to, because I’m not going to keep referring to him as that guy that came to see me. So, I’ll begin.

The circumstances under which I met Zach, or why we started talking at all are completely irrelevant to this posting…so I’ll skip it. If you want to know, inquire. If not, it may possibly become the topic of a future blog…if I feel it relevant. Basically, all you need to know to understand this story is that I have spent a small amount of time with him and he is coming to visit Utah…well me I guess really, but I live in Utah…so he is visiting Utah. I’m thinking there is hopefully going to be a connection with him or something, so I’m going to do my best to impress! I had cleaned the entire apartment, planned a list of activities and I was ready to go!

Friday we had decided to go skiing/boarding. I was extremely excited about the prospect because any time I can hit the slopes is awesome…and doing it with a friend…even better. Well, the 3rd run of the day (about 20 minutes in) I tell him that he should ski ahead of me. I was totally paranoid about him getting hurt while he was in Utah because he had some training to go to in 2 weeks and he had to be in good physical condition to go. I kept telling him to take things at a slow pace and that I would be behind him if he fell. Well about 100 yards down that run, I went to rock back on my toe edge and I lost it. I reached back with my right arm and I totally bit it. Hard. My head hit the snow pretty hard, my goggles flew off and I just remember feeling pain. I collected my goggles, removed my gloves (stupid in hindsight), and just anticipated shaking it off. I went to push off with my arms when I realized that I could no longer move my right arm. My brain was telling it to move…but it wasn’t budging. I then took my left hand and placed it on my right elbow and immediately knew what the problem was. The point of my elbow was about 2 inches to the south of where it should be. I knew right then that there was no shaking off that injury. So I sat there and contemplated throwing up in the snow…that’s how much pain I was in. Then I realized that I couldn’t puke because just as I did, Zach would probably find me…and that’s no way to impress someone. I mean honestly, who am I? Stan from South Park? So I tried to find my center and breathe calmly. I knew that someone would come down that run, and more importantly I knew that Zach would find me eventually….however, I also knew that it would take awhile for him to do so, since he didn’t even know I was hurt. So I removed my board and waited.

Finally some skiers came flying down the hill. And they were moving. And they never stopped. Finally I grabbed the attention of a fellow snowboarder and told him to get ski patrol. (Meanwhile, Zach told me that when he realized I was gone, he waited for me for quite awhile on the trail, tried shouting for me, then realized that he should ski to the bottom and wait there. As the skiers came down they told him I was fine and I was sitting down. Then the snowboarder came down and had them radio for ski patrol saying that there was a girl that was badly hurt and he didn’t know what it was…but she couldn’t get up.) Meanwhile, I’m sitting on the hill shaking so hard I couldn’t stop. I think this was partly shock and partly cold. I was in windpants and under armor bottoms and my jacket was half unzipped because it was warm out. Unfortunately I landed in the shade and I couldn’t zip my jacket up with my left hand. I also couldn’t get my glove back on the right hand…so I was worried about frostbite. I was trying not to throw up and then practically hyperventilating so then I was trying not to pass out. After about 25 minutes ski patrol showed up. He immediately put his jacket around me and took my pulse. Then he radioed for a toboggan and put a sling on me. The toboggan was attached to a snowmobile and I had to lie almost completely flat while they strapped me in. The paramedics had decided that they were going to put oxygen on me because I was feeling very dizzy. It was as they were inserting the nose tube on me that Zach showed up. He looked all worried and said, “Oh my god, are you ok?” I just looked at him and said, “Nope, I’m going to die.” Then I cracked a smile. He asked if they had given me any pain killers yet. I told him no, and then he asked how I was still smiling. What he didn’t know was that I was trying so hard not to look like a big whiner. So they finished putting tying me in and the snowmobile took off for the first aid station. That was the longest snowmobile ride of my life. The paramedic said it would take 5 minutes, it felt like 5 hours. My arm wasn’t hurting as much as I anticipated, but the snow was flying in my face and I was concerned that perhaps my face would freeze in the position it was in. They dropped me off at ski patrol and walked me inside. Once inside I was informed that if I wanted to keep my jacket, I was going to have to remove it there. Apparently, if I went to the hospital with a jacket on, they were going to cut it off. So we carefully removed the jacket. However, the under armor shirt I was wearing was not going to be as lucky. I wasn’t so mad about the fact that they were going to cut the under armor, I was mad that I would have to wear a stupid hospital smock home. Honestly, those things don’t cover anything and I was not wearing my best sports bra that day. So Zach finally got to the ski lodge, pulled the car around and we were off to the emergency room.

I felt every bump and turn in the road all the way from the top of mountain down to the emergency room. I was trying so hard to be tough but all I wanted to do was to puke or pass out…maybe both. Plus someone else was driving my car, and no one drives my car, so I was having all sorts of control anxiety as well. I tried to keep things light by apologizing profusely for ruining the day and how I felt so terrible. Zach didn’t seem to mind and he even made a comment about what a good story this was going to be after the fact. After what felt like 3 years and 345,586 bumps in the road we made it to McKay Dee Hospital. Zach was helping me carefully take off the seatbelt…but he’s kind of ADD. I multi-task. When you put an ADDer with a multi-tasker bad things will happen. As the seatbelt is almost half off, I remind him to grab my purse in the back so I can get my insurance card. Which causes him to reach in the back and forget about the seatbelt, which hit my fingers, which made me scream loudly, “F*ck!” Then I immediately started apologizing profusely for yelling and swearing at him. What a way to impress.

So I get into the hospital and check in and tried to sit down, but I hit my fingers on the chair which caused me to say very loudly, “Shhhhhiiiiiiit.” This very condescending Mormon lady then looks at me with her 12 year old son sitting next to her and said, “ouch?” And I wanted to get up right then and dislocate her elbow and see what she said then. I was quickly moved into a room after that.

In the room there was a whole lot of waiting. I got taken out for X-rays and they were excruciating. And the sweet Mormon technician who looked like she was 12, but married, kept trying to get me to move my arm in different angles. I just wanted to yell at her and tell her that it was broken, can’t you see where the point of my elbow is?, that’s not normal…and no I can’t kneel on the floor…I can’t even get my legs to stop shaking. Then it was back to the room for more waiting. During this time they gave me 2 shots of morphine and I must say I am not impressed. After 2 shots of morphine I still felt every little bit of pain, there was not even an edge taken off and I didn’t even act silly. Finally, the doctor came back in and informed me that there were 3 snowboarders today who dislocated various joints and that one doctor was going to come in and much like an assembly line, pop in each one. The catch was that I had to be sedated. I was scared by that, and I don’t know why. But it was really the only option because I definitely did not to be awake when they popped that back in. When the doctor came in I looked at him incredulously and said, “You’re the doctor?” Yeah, he was totally in jeans and a flannel and looked more like a vet than a human doctor. He took it good naturedly enough and we were in business. They gave me the sedation and the rest I know only because I was informed when I woke up. Apparently after they had started the sedation, they started asking me questions. I kept saying, “I can see you, I can see nurses and doctors, I can see you.” So they kept giving me more drugs. Well then I think I passed out, like completely. The doctor then went about setting my elbow in place and taking x-rays to make sure it was in the right spot. They worked the arm a little bit and popped it right back in. It was at this point that my eyes flew open, I sat up in bed and had a few choice expressions. Then I apparently passed back out again, my pulse dropped below 50 (couldn’t tell exactly because 50 was as low as it goes) and my oxygen dropped below 72. The nurses then tried to wake me up and kept telling me to take deep breaths. One nurse said, “Shannon, you need to wake up now.” And I told her, “No, I’m having a dream. She then asked, “What’s your dream?”. And I told her, “That’s privileged information.” Even under sedation I don’t give up secrets! The next thing I remember is some nurse telling me that I needed to take a deep breath right now. I did and then looked to my left. Zach was still sitting there but he looked a bit worried. I asked if my elbow grossed him out…apparently it didn’t. So that was good.

So the rest of the weekend was spent doing a whole lot of nothing and getting waited on, which was pretty nice. On Monday I had to drive Zach to the airport. I was so worried about how I had ruined the weekend, but I think we are only just beginning...so it wasn't all bad. Plus I think he liked being the "knight in shining armor." (Author's side note: things went really well...can't wait to see him soon.)

On Tuesday I got my splint off. Below are pictures are of my elbow. (The following images are graphic and not for the weak stomached).