Jappy Girls are EVERYWHERE!! (This is not a racial slur, I am referring to the Jewish American princess...of course most times these girls turn out to not even be Jewish, but just random spoiled brats whose yuppie parents never said no to them out of guilt.)

So my New Years post, much like my resolutions, never happened. I don't really believe in New Years resolutions anyways. I mean why wait until the 1st day of a new year to do something life changing, why not do it when you think of it. For example, a lot of people put losing weight on their new year's resolutions list. Why not just do it when you realize that you are bigger than you want to be? But no, most people wait until that all amazing January 1st, clog up the gym, inconveniencing my work out time, and then are done attempting their resolution by January 15. Whatever.

I spent 2 weeks in wonderful Ohio again. If you ever have the desire to go to Ohio during a national championship game that Ohio State is playing in...and you don't like Ohio State...don't go to Ohio. The fans are only going to be rude and obnoxious and not understand how people could not like THE Ohio State. Good thing they lost...then all was well.

The class I took was intense! I basically relearned an entire semester of undergrad stats in 3 days...then we proceeded to take those stats and apply them to learning curves and inflation and all sorts of fun things like that. The whole thing culminated in a final project and me wanting to beat this guy's ass for being an arrogant prick. It's not really worth going into details but there was a guy in my group with a little penis envy and he thought he was the smartest person he knew. And at the end of the course he actually had the nerve to tell me, "This is the first group I have worked in where I haven't yelled at anyone." I bit my tongue so hard it bled, because what I really wanted to say is, "Maybe its not other people that are the problem. Maybe you don't play nice with others you arrogant jerk." I passed the class which is all that really matters. While I was in Ohio I got to spend a significant amount of time with Kelly and John, which was a blast...so all in all it was good. Other than the fact that I hate traveling in the winter. I think next year I am just going to block out my calender from December through March. I refuse to travel anywhere. Anyone wants to see me, they know where I am...my little bear cave here in Layton. I'll even be nice and come pick you up at the airport...other than that, consider me in hibernation.

So on the way back yesterday the trip from Dayton to Denver was fairly uneventful. Because I had gotten little sleep and I had woken up way early, I was tired and I think I snored from Dayton into Nebraska...but it didn't bother me any. Upon arriving in Denver I had just enough time to run from one terminal to another to catch my next flight. When I got to the terminal I noticed that they had a little notice to passengers about volunteers to take a bump and get a free ticket. I asked the lady when I would fly out if I took the ticket and she said the next morning. Plus the airlines wouldn't put me up for the night because I volunteered...so it would have been a wash. So I passed and found an empty chair and got comfy. Well the couple sitting 3 chairs down from me is the reason for the title of this post. The moment I sit down I realized I should have just remained standing. This grown woman, who must have been a little older than me but looked almost 40 from her intense love of tanning, was sitting next to her husband whining. I'm not even kidding, whining, loudly, in public. Then she crosses her one leg over the other and starts bouncing it, in doing so she starts shaking the entire row of chairs, of which I am sitting in one. She starts whining even louder, "Honey, I just want to get out of he-re. We have been here since 10:30000000000. I just want to goooo. I'm calling Southwest, give me your credit card. I'm booking us another ticket." At first I felt a little bad for Mrs. Northface Fleece Jappy girl. But as I sat there listening to the incessant high pitched Fran Drescher whining I just wanted to stab her with my crochet hook. Apparently the 2 A-holes (SNL reference to the two couples that say "Hey Babe...hey Babe.") arrived at their original airport exactly 30 minutes before their flight and United decided to move the flight time up by 15 minutes. So they were not allowed on their flight. United was nice enough to rebook them on the next flight since it was the couples' fault...but they missed their connection in Denver. So they had to wait to get rebooked on the next one of those. So Jappy McJapster steals her husband's credit card and books 2 nonrefundable tickets to SL through Southwest. I board the plane and assume that I am done with the couple. Until I see them board the plane. And sit in the row in front of me. It was fine until maybe a half hour in when Ms. Tanning Bed decided she was going to read a magazine quiz to her husband and ask for his responses. I knew we were all in trouble when the first question was, "How would you describe your body?" and the husband had to say what his wife looked like. He told her curvy and that was clearly the wrong answer. She starts whining, "That's not what I wanted to hear." Her husband says, "There's nothing wrong with that." And the whining continued. Now at this point I am wondering if I am overreacting slightly...so I monitor the reactions of fellow passengers to see if anyone else is annoyed as I am. The guy sitting across the aisle from them was dressed similarly to Bill's father in Big Love. (Kind of scrubby, complete with trucker cap and slick white hair hanging out from underneath.) His mouth was completely hanging open. He was staring at this girl with the kind of amazement that one might stare at a car wreck. You so desperately want to look away but can't because you can't believe it's happening in front of your face. I almost burst out laughing it was so funny. Meanwhile Ms. The World Revolves Around Me, continues on with her tirade completely oblivious to the fact that there are other passengers on the plane and we might not want to hear how skinny you think you are. How do people like that honestly get married? Who in their right mind puts up with torture like that? She must be really good in the sack...because that's the only reason I can think of that a guy would willingly put up with that.

So I am so busy people watching I forget to look out the window, but I can feel that we are descending. The captain comes on the intercom and says that we are making our descent, everyone sit down. All is going as planned, when we start down for a landing and then immediately pull back up. I'm not even kidding. It was like "haha, you thought you were going to land...just kidding." Then we did a figure 8 pattern for 45 more minutes. It's at times like these that I wish I was not a seasoned traveler. I knew that it was not just air traffic. When its just air traffic they circle you over the airport at a fairly high altitude. When you are doing figure-8s you are burning fuel. So we finally start our descent in again and we came down hard on the nose. I think there was a landing gear problem...but we made it to the gate safe and sound.

Tomorrow I get to check out Sundance Film Festival. It should be fun!

That is all!