There are sometimes when I think it would be much easier to be a guy.



So yesterday I am walking with Sam and a random missile guy across a busy 4 lane road on base. The move was totally jaywalking but Sam had it timed right so we wouldn’t get hit by the cars that were speeding by. As I am running across the street in my heels the random missile guy says, “Why are you running? I was going to walk with you. You could stop the traffic around here.” Now, I am not all fem-nazi and uber liberal feminist. I do enjoy being treated like a lady and I don’t usually get offended easily. But I was sort of offended by that statement. It was like one of those backhanded compliments. Like it was really supposed to be a compliment but it was sexist all at the same time. And if I was a dude I would never have to worry about backhanded compliments.



Then today we are sitting in a staff meeting and one of my female coworkers states that she needs more money for a project. The crusty old dude next to her said, “Typical woman.” Again, I don’t offend easily but come on! If she was a guy needing more money for a project nothing would have been said. Why do I always feel like no matter how much I am accepted in this workplace, I’m really not?



Then to put a true Utah spin on things one of the main articles on abc4.com was “back in the dating saddle.” Being a little curious, I read the article. It was not a generic, “this is where you meet people” article. No, no this was an article aimed at single women on how not to drive away single guys. Are you serious?! This is news! Because I know that all the guys I have ever dated could never have perfected their dating skills. No, no it’s always the women I know that need the advice. (I’m being a bit sarcastic here.)



In other news, the 2nd news story on the news yesterday was how the LDS church is ONLY 60% of the population in the state of Utah now. What was the first news story? They found 2 bodies. What was the 3rd story? Who cares? It clearly wasn’t as important as the fact that the LDS church is still the majority of this state. But the news story was more of a panic about how if this trend continues by the year 2030 LDS will be less than half the population. Oh no! Alert the missionaries, do a full court press on Utah…heaven forbid they lose the majority!! Maybe by the year 2030 they can have real elections rather than the sheep being told who to vote for by their “elders.”



Anyways, tonight I leave for NY again. It’s not that I don’t want to go home, I feel like I was just there…oh wait I was. And I don’t mind being home, it’s just that long ass cross country hell that I have to go through to get there. Especially through my favorite airport in the world, JFK! I am bracing for the long lines, the screaming babies and the delays! Yay! I think from now on people should come visit me and I’ll stay put.



If Aunt Mary Kay is reading this, I am totally ready to defend my pitch master title! Bring it!



That is all!

Back in Utah for a short time.

So I arrived back in the state of Utah again today...and I will be here until Tuesday night. Because of all the traveling I have done in the past month I declared a stay-in and chill night. It's almost 8 and I am ready for bed. I am totally lame.

Anyways, another trip to Hell Paso. It wasn't too bad. I got to the hotel and they didn't have a room for me. Which isn't that big of a deal except that the hotel was totally booked and they didn't think they could find me a room at all. I got so mad because I knew I booked a room, but I didn't have the confirmation number with me...so no dice. Note to self...always bring the confirmation number. The front desk told me that if I came back after 8 and someone hadn't checked in then I could take their room. Seeing as it was only 6:30 we decided to go to dinner and try later. Upon returning to the hotel at 8:00 I was informed that I had a room. I was so excited I grabbed my key and rushed upstairs with all of my crap. I entered the room and there was a pet carrier sitting on the floor. I thought someone might have left the carrier there on accident when I looked up and saw a very scared looking cat sitting on the chair. I then backed out of the room and turned heel and went downstairs. I did not see anyone's luggage in the room and no one yelled to me...so I am assuming that it was just the cat in the room. When I got downstairs I was informed that it was the corporate cat and that they should not have given me the room in the first place. I was still contemplating what a corporate cat was as they searched for another room to put me in. Thank goodness they found a room for me to stay in...I wasn't ready to sleep in our rental Durango.

The next couple of days were typical government travel semantics. I was traveling with a good group of guys and of course they felt like they needed to harass me (note to self: find more girls to travel with). All in all good times.

I figured it out after this past trip. I have been on 65 airplanes since I landed in Utah in August 2006. That is a lot of freaking airplanes. I'm all for travel and its fun...but I am getting kind of sick of living in hotels. I'm not sure how people who travel every week do it. Ok, that's enough complaining about travel.

In other news, one of my old college friends called me today. I haven't spoken to this friend in over 2 years...and it has nothing to do with either of us sucking at being friends, she was in Africa for 2 years! How cool is that?! I would never have the guts to do that. Anyways, she called to set up a time when we can get together over Christmas break and hang out. And the best part of the whole conversation, we picked up talking right where we left off. It was like 2 years hadn't passed at all. I think that is one of the coolest things ever. For everyone that reads this blog, I hope that you have a friend like that. I know I have several friends like that...people that I don't talk to for months or even years and they call one day and its like the conversation never ended. I think that's the true test of friendship right there.

That is all!

I am a traveling machine!



So I got back into Utah from New York on a Friday night. I had Saturday to recover and then it was back on the road on Sunday morning. The first stop was Hell Paso. Seriously, I think I have found the end of the earth and its in El Paso, Texas. As we were flying into the El Paso airport on our 1960s Regional Jet all you could see for miles and miles was desert and the few plants that grow in the desert. We landed in the smallest airport I have ever seen and went to our hotel which was around the corner. In the process we met some of the enlisted guys that were going to be traveling with us for the remainder of the week. The conversation went something like this:

Sam: Hey, what base are you guys from?

Guys: Vandenberg

Sam: This is Shannon, she’ll be traveling with us.

Guys: Yeah, we saw her at the airport.

(Sam and I walk away)

Sam: See they always spot the girl on the trip first. I was invisible but they saw you at the airport.

Me: That’s why you are here to be my chaperone.


This entire week trip was a unique experience for me. For starters, I was the only girl. Now I know I hang out with the guys a lot and I am one of the bros and all that nonsense, but I was the only girl with 11 guys. And not 11 refined ivy league guys...11 enlisted maintenance guys. There was lots of beer drinking, lots of fart jokes and lots of harassing the only girl on the trip...in a funny way...not in a bad way. In order to survive I had to start dishing out the sarcasm at the very beginning of the trip and I soon became known as the sassy one...should be no surprise to those who know me.

We all decided that we were going to do dinner that night at a steakhouse 2 miles from the hotel. The only problem…we had 1 car. Rather than make 2 trips like a sensible bunch of people…we crammed 7 grown military men and me into a Jeep Compass. It was reminiscent of the time that we crammed 8 people into a Ford Escort but this time my knees were squashed into my nose as I sat in the trunk with another guy that I had only just met. I wish I had pictures on the faces of the people that were behind us on the road. Dinner was good and we crammed 8 of us back in the car and went back to the hotel. The tour was fine and I learned a lot. All in all a productive trip.



The next stop was Clearwater, Fl. The first night at that hotel was off the chain. I will not divulge all the details to protect the not so innocent but if you want the hilarious story in which I drank more than I should have, ended up married (not really but that was my cover) and made a late night phone call I should never have made, ask me. The tour the next day was a little rough on everyone involved. Luckily, I had already done that tour twice before. The second night was much calmer and I actually got to bed before midnight.



The next stop after that was illustrious Heath, OH. Talk about the armpit of America. There is NOTHING in Heath, OH. Oh yeah and it was cold too! We went to a cute pub the first night and I was taught how to keep score in darts. I actually did a half way decent at throwing the darts as well. The tour in Heath was very in depth and let me tell you, to understand everything I need to understand about my job I would have to be a rocket scientist.



Saturday it was back to Utah. I had a very busy wonderful weekend, the details of which I am withholding to protect the innocent. Again, if you want to know ask me.



Now it’s Tuesday. I went into the office to deal with the 215 new emails I had. I’m not even kidding. And I am getting ready to fly back to Hell Paso for another 3.5 days. Then it’s back to Utah on Friday. Fun times!



I am so ready to be done traveling. I never thought I would say that. I just want 1 week and a full weekend where I can do whatever I want and not have an airport involved in any way shape or form. I am done stripping down in front of TSA and making sure that my lipgloss is in a 1 quart bag. But I still have several weeks before I can get that time to myself…in the meantime I will try to enjoy the frequent flyer miles I am racking up.



That is all!